Dear Jesus 12/9/2015

Dearest Jesus,

Will you ever cease to amaze me? The promises you write on my heart seem so far fetched to a wreck like me. The deep transformations that have taken place, the healing that continues day to day, and the hurts from long ago being used to bring others to those places of healing. Words truly cannot give the magnitude of Your love justice. I hear words coming out of my mouth that sound so cliche and I know I once would have rolled my eyes at such things. The thing is, that there are no other ways to try to explain the things going on in my heart, in my life, in the lives around me.

Although I may seem young in years to some, I have lived a long life full of pain, destruction, and anxiety. The depth of that pain and devastation is still unknown to me as I have only just begun to see how far and wide they have reached in me. The dysfunction and darkness that wrapped itself around me as far back as I can remember no longer have a hold on me. Today, I can say that I am free. This has only come through the Grace and Mercy given so freely by my Lord, Jesus Christ. Trust me, I have tried many other ways.

Therapy, self-help, self-medication and denial only brought me to a point of being able to mask my pain easily. This I can see so clearly now. All things I tried before lacked an essential ingredient, God’s love. Without the Holy Spirit working in me, all else is pointless. Christ has a way of opening those places I shut down so long ago, He enters those places to bring light and healing beyond anything I could have ever hoped for. Nothing else could bring me to this place. The funny thing is, I know I still have so much further to go!

I share this with you all as a testament to the power that is available to every single human being on this planet. Don’t start thinking about all the people that are not worthy, don’t start thinking about all the ways that you are unworthy, just settle on the fact that Jesus loves you anyway. Let your heart hear that. Jesus loves you. He is not temperamental and He doesn’t expect you to get it together before you come to Him. He literally wants you to come to Him as you are. Right now, this very moment. Go to Him and let Him show you, true love. Let Him show you that You are His and always have been, always will be. He is loving you right this very moment, even if you are in a place of denying His existence, even if You hate Him. How we feel and how we respond to Him will never change how He loves us. The only requirement is that we turn to Him and accept it.

Let Him love you, let Him heal you, allow Him into those places full of pain, anxiety and darkness. There is no point in hiding, He knows us all better than we know ourselves. His love is a true love that we will never know or understand completely. The depths of His truly unconditional love are eternal. Take that step into the love that is waiting for you. Yes, you. He is calling you this very moment and all you have to do is answer. Turn to Him and accept the gift He brings. Know that your life has a purpose beyond what you could ever imagine.

Freedom comes when I accept Jesus into my life and begin to walk in the purpose He designed for my life long before the creation of the very world we live in. I only need to accept the gift He offers to all. I have to acknowledge that His grace is sufficient and that I could never earn that. This is not a life of doing this and not doing that. This is a life of acceptance, peace, love and life. The life full of guilt, shame, pain and trying to measure up is exhausting and fake. True life begins in Jesus. If a wretch like me, a woman that detested Christianity and all I stood for, can find Jesus then I know you can too.

Lord, I thank You for the forgiveness You offer to anyone that will accept it. I thank You that You do not require anything more from us, but present us with opportunities to change the world around us in Your name. You allow us to touch lives in ways that blow me away. You are merciful and loving. You truly take the unqualified of this world and use us to bring others to a life full of freedom. A freedom that cannot be explained, but only experienced. A freedom that cannot be intellectualized, but must be heard by the heart. I pray that whoever reads this today will stop and look to You. I pray that they will ask You to show them Your love in the midst of wherever they are right now. Pierce their core, soften their hearts and pour into them, Lord. In Jesus’ precious name I pray these things. Amen.

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